I've been friends with this one girl since fourth grade. On the outside, she is so friendly and nice. She seems happy, carefree, always thinking of others, never herself. Parents love her and kids love her. She is always smiling. You would never know what was really going on underneath all that. I met this friend, who I'll call Sara, in dance class when we were five. We were in the same dance class every year until senior year. When we were young, I never understood why she would be extremely happy at one moment and then act like she hated me the next minute. She was also not in dance class a lot, without any explanation. As I got older, and we became better friends, I found out that she had extreme anxiety, as well as bipolar disorder. She eventually was put on a ton of medication, for various reasons. She was also extremely depressed, and went through some tough points in her life in dealing with depression. I didn't know how bad it was until one day, at dance class, I saw that she cut herself. That was in eighth grade. In high school, she stopped cutting herself. She moved around from school to school, eventually ending up in a special school that caters to each student's different needs. She always had trouble making friends and she had an especially hard time in that school, because everyone else there had similar or worse problems. I remember one day in high school, I was waiting for her and her mother to come pick me up to go to dance class and her mother showed up at my door and said, "Sara is in the hospital. Last night she knew she was dropping into a very dangerous depression and told me she needed to go to the hospital." Her mom left and I didn't know what to think. I remember crying for a long time, so scared for my friend. Sara is doing a lot better now and I don't see her as often, but I still think about her a lot. I know that she goes to see a psychologist often, who recommended she go to the gym to clear her thoughts sometimes. Sara has become obsessed! She has a personal trainer, loves running, and is now extremely active in her "gym community". I'm glad that she has found something that makes her truly happy. It is good to know that she is doing well.
I was really moved by your comment. I think that what you said about people never knowing what is going on inside the minds of others is insightful. I too, have a friend who is similar. She is very friendly and nice and extrenely creative. She writes poetry and music as well as is excellent at drawing. She also plays like four instruments. However, one day she revealed something to me that I had not known previously about her. She had severe depression and had thought about suicide numerous times. She has been going to therapy since she was 12 and is so obsessive with her thoughts of suicide at times that she literally thinks about when, where, and how she will end her life. Though she is on medicine now and doing much better, you would never know this about her unless you saw her at night when she is all alone. She draws and writes and plays instruments because they are her coping mechanisms.
ReplyDeleteLikewise, I have another friend who is extremely sociable and loved by everyone. She has so many friends and is pretty and talented, but, she has secrets too. I found out this past year that she has seasonal depression, and sometimes, in the winter, her depression becomes almost unbearable. She too receives treatment for this, and has steadily improved, but it just goes to show us how prevalent these situations are. After all, 1 out of every 7 Americans is recieving some form of psychological services. It makes sense when we see it the lives around us.
-Desiree' Williford